Pregnancy, Childbirth, & Anxiety: Part 2
The first part is available here, and was written shortly before COVID-19 concerns jumped to the forefront of the American consciousness. That has changed the field considerably and I expect the ramifications of this season will be felt by everyone for a long time, with future pregnancies and labors feeling the specter of the stress experienced in the spring of 2020.
This is not the first time women have had babies under stressful circumstances. It is a grievous fact of the human race that our history is replete with wars, rumors of wars, illnesses, plagues, and trauma. Women have borne their babies through all of these seasons with courage and grace. What praise they deserve, how little they have received.
Often we’ve ignored the stresses associated with birth. An important part of helping the stress of birth is acknowledging it is stressful. It’s not a simple physiological event like a sneeze; it’s what kicks off a lifetime of birthday parties, but it’s not a party. As doula & author Debra Pascali-Bonaro wrote: “In an effort to promote birth as a positive experience, childbirth educators may unwittingly ignore the need to discuss doubts and fears that may overpower a pregnant woman…recognizing the reality of such feelings…. can be of benefit to expectant couples as they face birth…” To help alleviate anxiety, it is important to talk about it…
…. and it is important to be able to talk about stress with people you trust. Usually when we think stress responses, we immediately think of only “fight or flight” responses. We’ve been trained to think this way. But researchers found that these studies were done on (wait for it) men… and not really included women. Women, when stressed, have a stronger tend and befriend response, and this response should be encouraged. Positive communication with caregivers who listen to you and affirm who you are and what you are capable of make a dramatic & positive difference when you are in the throes of childbirth. As the Psychology today article mentioned, these interactions can help with oxytocin levels, an important labor hormone.
With these things in mind, here are practical ideas for handling the stress of pregnancy & childbirth in a COVID-19 world:
* Labor at home for as long as possible. Hospitals are the forefront of the COVID-19 battle right now and have put stringent protections in place for anyone stepping in their doors. Buy an exercise ball; use it… make sure you are hydrated, nourished, and rested before heading to the hospital and that you are in strong & active labor.
* Connect With Your Caregivers Beforehand. Ask for an additional prenatal appointment (even if it has to be done virtually) with your doula to discuss more labor support techniques.
* Now more Than Ever, Research: Don’t let there be situations that take you by surprise in birth. Think about contingency plans. Journal your thoughts and your priorities. Many hospitals are allowing only your partner to be at birth at the moment (this WILL change); be clear with your partner about what you will need from them in birth. Show them videos of labor support techniques, show them the research that matters to you, work through your feelings as a couple,…
* Connect With Your Caregivers In Labor ~ Use Facetime! Listen to your doula and let her listen to you, giving you feedback on how she sees your labor patterns going.
And know that this a season. This will end. Childbirth will end. COVID-19 fear will end… let’s hold tight to each other ‘til that moment… and then still continue tending & befriending.