Doula Confessions: My Mixed Feelings About Birth Plans

Doula Confession: I have a love-hate relationship with birth plans. I love seeing educated, knowledgeable, smart women think through birth. I love it when a woman has a wonderful relationship & open communication with her medical providers.

 But when we talk about a birth plan, I sometimes worry that we think birth is like GPS for a car trip: gas station stop at exit 179, food 2.5 hours into the trip, and we absolutely must stop at Ikea before we get home! It's so predictable, with easy check marks and mile markers.

 Birth is a journey, sure, but it can be an unexpected one. And calling it by that name is completely metaphorical; it's more accurately an intense physiological process involving two inter-connected & vulnerable humans, putting stress on each of their bodies. It's stress their bodies can almost always handle; there are mind-blowing mechanisms designed to protect each of them and keep them strong through the contractions, dilation, transition, pushing, the postpartum period. That doesn’t flow nicely for social media images, but it’s the truth. Birth is not a road trip.

 So where does that leave birth plans? They can still be such a useful tool for sorting out priorities and thinking through the process of birth! Finding a good doula to do this with is helpful, and it’s also vitally important to find a medical provider you trust for the times when a birth plan needs to be scrapped.

 And in those moments, I so very much want every woman to be comfortable with her own birth. A woman should never compare her authentic birth experience with something sterile on paper! Birth is so much more awesome than any road trip, no matter how the plans go!