Three Things Your Labor & Delivery Nurse Wants You To Know
Sometimes clients ask me how I work with the labor and delivery staff at the hospital. In the past, I think there’s been a sense that the relationship between a doula and hospital staff must be adversarial. This saddens me, as birth should never happen in a conflict zone. I actually love being being part of a woman’s entire birth team & helping her effectively communicate her needs with people who are just meeting her for the first time when she’s in labor and who cannot be with her the entire time like I can as a doula.
So while thinking about this recently, I decided to ask a L&D nurse friend of mine to list 3 things she wishes every new mom knew. Here’s what she shared with me (I loved it so much!). Everything she’s written is in italics, and I’ve added a couple things at the end of the post.
#1) Labor is HARD. It's not only physically difficult but also mentally and emotionally challenging. You should always prepare for labor by educating yourself on the processes your body will be going through - but make sure to do so using credible sources. If you use the internet, be cautious of anecdotal accounts only... try to find legitimate medical websites. Also, you will have all kinds of information and advice given to you by family and friends (even the lady at the grocery store!). Please take all of this with a grain of salt! Everyone's labor experience is different! Don't assume your labor experience will be just like your mom's or sister's because of your close relation/similar body type/ etc. Educate yourself on the hospital or birthing center you plan on delivering with, along with your doctor or midwife. Different hospitals follow different procedures, although all should be following ACOG standards. An overall understanding of the labor process and birthing facility will help you to make an educated birth plan... and speaking of your birth plan...
#2) I follow Mama Doctor Jones (OBGYN) on YouTube and recently heard a quote in one of her videos which I can't phrase any better. Planning your birth is like planning your wedding - "Don't try to plan the weather because that will set you up for disappointment. Plan as much as is 'plannable' but be flexible with what isn't." Plan for your ideal labor and delivery, and then consider what you want done in case the ideal doesn't happen... there is no way to predict exactly how labor is going to go. Thankfully, the majority of labors go smoothly and don't have complications, but occasionally medical intervention is necessary to ensure a healthy mama and baby. Ultimately that's what we want, however the final thing this labor nurse wants you to know is this -
#3) We WANT you to have the labor that you want! We are on your side and consider ourselves so fortunate to be with you during this incredibly major and wonderful event! Your nurse is your advocate and we are thrilled to be part of your labor team with your OBGYN, midwife, doula, and loved ones! There is a very good reason your nurse leaves her family for 12+ hours of the day 6 AM to 6 PM (or PM to AM) - we love what we do! Each and every delivery we experience with our patients impacts us; and, in turn, we hope we make an impact on your labor experience. We will do everything in our power to help you achieve your dream delivery which ends in the most precious trophy of all!
Labor IS hard, but it is the kind of hard that we can prepare for. You can’t really prepare for the pain of a broken leg, but the pain involved in labor is functional pain. I talk about how the right support staff can increase our pain tolerances in this post. Birth is also something to be patient with. If you’re looking for an evidence based site on birth, two of my favorites are Evidence Based Birth & VBAC Facts.
On birth plans: I’ve written about them before - they are such useful tools, but well… they can also be more like guidelines. ;) They help us to know our options and how we will feel comfortable proceeding if things go in an unplanned fashion. They help us to know our options and how we will feel comfortable proceeding if things go in an unplanned fashion, but birth (just like parenting) rarely goes completely as planned. Also like parenting, though, the reality of finally meeting your little one is so, so much better than anything on paper! Your nurses and doula know this too and we are so excited for you!